Blog 24 - A Bridge Too Far!

My biggest phobia is Bridges, don’t ask me why, it isn’t very logical, but aren’t most phobias illogical? I’m sort of ok with heights but very high bridges and me do not get on well.

When I was younger I had two bad experiences that made my bridge phobia worse. The first one was attempting to cure my phobia, a boyfriend at the time decided to take me on the Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol. It did not cure my phobia but just made it worse, as I managed to get halfway across and then froze in the middle and cried. I obviously looked so upset people were stopping trying to help me and counsel me as they thought I was going to jump! I had to physically crawl to get off the bridge and have not attempted to purposely walk across a high bridge since.

A couple of years later, my car broke down on the Severn Bridge and to make matters worse I got locked out of my car, when I rang for help, so had to stand outside on the bridge until the police came to rescue me. I was in such a state and so cold as was only wearing a T-shirt in high winds, by the time the Police came (which incidentally was very quick!) they were really worried about me and thought I had gone into shock! I had to explain it was just that I hate bridges!

Over the years my fear has got a bit better if I’m honest and I feel really silly and weak being frightened of anything so thought this was an ideal opportunity to face my fear head on as it were! The closest highest and possibly the most scariest bridge suggested was the Newport Transporter Bridge, so that was the one that made the shortlist and I would attempt to cross it! After it made the list I realised the height of the bridge (over 250 feet) and the walkway you walk on is see through, I knew this was the challenge that would push my phobia to the limit!

This challenge was a bit thwarted and it actually took me 3 attempts. The first attempt was whilst filming the ‘Happy Newport’ video for my job. The film crew and transporter bridge staff persuaded me to climb to the top. After lots of attempts to get out of it, stopping umpteenth times on the way up and getting coaxed to carry on by the staff, I managed to get all the way to the top of the stairs.

Amazing you might say, until I froze at the top and could barely move away from the top of the stairs and although trying to hide it bravely, I was absolutely petrified. When it came down to it and I could have walked over to the other side to complete the challenge, I couldn’t do it! Going back down the stairs was horrendous and infinitely worse than going up and didn’t make me feel any better about having to make a second attempt.

My second attempt was on a glorious day and I managed to get a group of 8 colleagues to hold my hand. I psyched myself up all day and everyone was really looking forward to it as it was so sunny and clear. Once we arrived at the Bridge however we were told by the lovely staff that we weren’t able to go up as there was a Fire Service strike! Gutted (everyone else) but slightly relieved (me) we left deflated.

My third attempt however was a bit more straight forward, I was unable to get as many supporters but had my marketing team from work to hold my hand. I had had quite a frustrating and busy day in work which had distracted me so much that I hadn’t had time to fret about the attempt. The smaller group of people actually relaxed me a bit also and took the pressure off as I was less worried about crying and making a tit out of myself!  Paul and Megan were unafraid but Tahnee was almost as nervous as I was, but we all started off well and confident.

Selfie at top of the Bridge with Paul, Tahnee and  Megan

The climb up was daunting and Tahnee was worried about slipping, but we made it to the top without stopping. We didn’t waste too much time before attempting to go across which I was grateful for as I didn’t want to freeze again. Walking out on to the see through gangway was fighting every urge in my body but I stayed calm and tried to enjoy the view. The height didn’t really scare me but the bridge felt really unstable to me and I constantly felt like it was swaying.  In my head and the reassuring chats by the guys, made me realise that it was all really safe and nothing to be frightened of, but I had a few head spin moments and felt like if I let my panic overtake me I would faint!

The start of the walk!

The view through the walkway - it doesn't look that
 impressive but it was very high (250 foot up)!

When the gondola moved underneath us and made the whole bridge shake, I did feel the panic rising but forced myself to keep calm and before I knew it we had got to the other side! The climb down wasn’t particularly pleasant but it was soon over. Once I got on firm ground my legs began to shake like crazy as the adrenaline wore off but I did it!

Towards the end and grimace of fear!

So my 24^th challenge completed and my biggest fear faced, I feel quite proud actually!